Growth

Dirty ass foo. Naw lol, this is an interesting image I took this week. During Chemo my nails turned black, which is what you see here, you can also see my healthy nails coming through. It’s extremely crazy to me when I think about how much has happened since last October. Lots of changes and lots of growth.

I don’t want my whole life to be about this instance, or 6 month stretch of being taken out of the game. I guess this image just meant a lot to me because it’s something visual that I see daily, that really no one else sees. It’s a daily reminder. A huge part of me wished I had kept it private, especially after we got the news that my treatment was ending early. In the end I’m glad I did let y’all know though.

It’s overwhelming how many people have let me know what I mean to them, or their concern, or their prayers. It’s hard as fuck for me to take any real positivity and shits been going so well, I feel like this is the part where something bad happens to me.

The whole experience was hard, it still is. I think about my brother Ernesto and everything he went through. I think about my family and my homies that have lost their loved ones to cancer. How much worse others have it or how much further along they are and are not able to make it out of the fight and how I feel so small because I was able to catch it while it was still treatable.

Just a lot of thinking.

Man though, I am grateful. I am a happy foo. It smells like shit in Tulare and is hot as fuck haha, but I love it. I have a lot of work to do on myself and with my work. I’m definitely NOT slowing down. If you thought I was annoying before, or you thought/wished I’d burn out. I got some sour news for ya holmes! Ya boi getting right, and we riding this thing ‘til the wheels fall all the way off.

I promise I will be posting more blogs! And create content specifically for y’all who follow me here! I’ve written a handful but never posted them. I get nervous AF haha.

to be continued…